


status update

by ohmcgee



Category: Batman (Comics), DCU (Comics), Green Lantern (Comics)
Genre: Comment Fic, Drabble, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-26
Updated: 2015-11-26
Packaged: 2018-05-03 10:55:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 415
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5287991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohmcgee/pseuds/ohmcgee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(256): ‘in an unhealthy relationship’ should def be an fb option</p>
            </blockquote>





	status update

"I'm just wonderin'," Hal says. "What box I'm supposed to check here."

"Box?" Bruce says, lifting his eyebrows, but in that way that says he's really only half listening.

"Yeah," Hal says. He knows Bruce knows what fucking Facebook is. Bruce knows everything, he's just being an obtuse asshole as per usual. "I mean, if they had a ticky box for In An Unhealthy Relationship we'd be all set."

"You think we're unhealthy," Bruce says. It's probably supposed to sound like a question, but Hal's pretty sure Bruce never mastered the art of inflection.

"You think we're in a relationship?" Hal snaps. He's fishing and Bruce picks up on it immediately if the tiny, brief flash of smirk in the corner of his mouth is anything to go by. 

"Answer my question first."

"Well clearly," Hal says. "We fight and we fuck. And it's amazing, y'know. The fighting and the fucking. It's just, we don't do a hell of a lot else."

"Some people call that passion."

"Some people call that insanity!"

"Lantern," Bruce says and Hal gets pissed at him for a minute until he realizes maybe the reason Bruce called him that and not his actual name is because he's standing there glowing at him. "Hal," he tries again once Hal chills out, a wry smile on his stupid mouth that Hal both wants to kiss and punch at the same time, all the time. "Do you want to go steady?"

"Fuck you," Hal snorts, crossing his arms over his chest. He's mocking him. The asshole is mocking him. Unless...he's not. "Why? Do you?"

Bruce rolls his eyes. "It's like talking to a child."

And it really just snowballs from there. Bruce calls him a child, an idiot, petulant and crass. Hal calls him a repressed, emotionally constipated sociopath.

An hour later Hal flops onto his back on Bruce's ridiculously huge bed, trying to remember how to breathe. He feels more worked over than any training, any war has ever done to him. Those things were nothing compared to what Bruce does to him. 

"I decided I don't care," Hal says, panting. "Healthy people do not have sex like that."

"Hm," Bruce says. "Perhaps we could contact Facebook and get them to add another ticky box."

Hal yawns and stretches out like a cat, sore deep into his bones, in muscles he didn't even know he had, bruised up all over from Bruce's hands, his mouth. "Sounds good to me," he says.


End file.
